Unleaded – Fuel for Writers

I’ve written about Nanowrimo several times in the past, both here and on my own blog.  It’s hard for me not to write about it, because it’s been a big part of my history as a writer.  I am a 4-time winner of the event, and am still very proud of the first novel that I produced in the process.  Not because it’s any good, oh no no no.  But because I finished it, which is a damn important milestone for anyone.

Finishing is hard.  Especially for a novel.  It requires bringing together all the lose ends into one reasonable package, tying a bow on it, and actually recognizing that you’ve hit the end.  That last part?  It’s not nearly as self apparent as it should be.  Even in a work that’s been meticulously outlined, where the last scene is a known quantity, it’s hard to know that it’s really done, that it’s time to put the words “the end” down on paper.

From that angle, I love Nanowrimo.  Always will.  I’m not going to say I would never have started writing if it weren’t for the event, but it’s what made me realize that I could actually see something through to completion.  It can be a fun exercise, it can work out some of the mental cobwebs, it can actually do good if you approach it correctly and let it do good.

Of late, I’ve had a less than cordial relationship with the event.  I did manage to win two years ago, in that I wrote 50,000 words of a novel in the month of November.  However, I didn’t finish the novel.  I still haven’t.  It’s the novel that I’m now in the process of dissecting, because it ended up being two novels twisted around each other in a horrible death grip.  That’s because I let Nanowimo drag me down the path of extemporaneous writing.  That’s not it’s fault.  That’s my fault.  I’m the one that’ll go in with vague ideas and go running headlong into a brick wall before I realize that the story went off the rails hundreds, perhaps thousands of words earlier.

I’ve probably done my last Nanowrimo.  At least in the traditional sense.  My last time sitting down and trying to just churn churn churn for a month.  I’ve hit a point in my writing career where I realize if I’m going to produce longer works, I need a more structured outline, and I need to be more deliberate about the creative process.  Does that mean, given the outline, I won’t be able to churn on occasion?  Absolutely not.  It just means I no longer feel it’s in my own best interests as a writer to go running into a dark cavern and just trust that my feet will find all the safe places to land.

So with that, I would like to wish good luck for all of those who still feel inspired to go on the Nanowrimo journey.  There are so many people for whom the event is still a lot of fun, and who get a hell of a lot out of the event.  I don’t think I’m one of them anymore, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into a curmudgeon and badmouth the event and everyone who takes part in it.  Because I know that it did me a lot of good once upon a time.  And I know it still does a lot of people a lot of good.  And I know there are people who can write that way.  Growth as a writer comes, in part, from recognizing what kind of writer one is.

So shine on you crazy diamonds, and I’ll owe a beer to anyone in CVS who pulls it off this year.

Related posts:

1. Another Love/Hate Relationship With NANOWRIMO
2. WWW: The Positive Press of Nanowrimo
3. Make Love, Not…Make Love AND Writing